Perks Magazine

An exploration of sex, sexuality and little bits of life

The Perky Jouney

The Perky journey began back in 2010 with a little blog called Rhonda Perky’s Bits.

In my early 30s, married and divorced, from horny to frigid and back again, I began to delve into my experiences with friendship, love, lust, and everything in between.

My blog was a place to document my reflections and shifting perspectives on social norms such as monogamy and kink, and my experiences navigating the interpersonal.

A few years on, having enrolled to study sexology and sexual health, I expanded the blog to encompass feature articles, essays, and observations, and launched Perks Magazine.

I hope my journey inspires you to reflect and explore.

With love, Rhonda xx

Latest posts

Filtering ourselves through rejection-coloured glasses

In Part Three of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores how we filter our view of ourselves.

Memory — The Self as an Unreliable Narrator

In Part Two of this exploration of self-image, projection, and the ego-defences, Rhonda explores the unreliability of memory.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

Strike Up A Chat

Rhonda chats to Natalie Swedosh about her Strike Up A Chat social interaction initiative that helps women and men reconnect in person.

My boyfriend has transgender friends – does he want to be with one again?

Rhonda answers the question: ‘My boyfriend has transgender friends on his profile. I was wondering if he wants to be with one again?’

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

I caught my boyfriend cheating

Rhonda helps a woman process the aftermath of a betrayal.

I’m in love with a girl in an abusive relationship

Rhonda helps a White Knight rescue a damsel in an open-but-abusive relationship, and offers some tips on handling jealousy.

Once bitten, twice shy

Rhonda helps a 23-year-old virgin find a way to trust again.

How can I trust after a betrayal?

Rhonda helps a Mistress learn to trust after a betrayal.

Under the covers…

Relation-ships
Kink
Single
Life
Sex
Your Stories
Sexuality
Perky Leigh
Porn
Ask Rhonda
Editorial
Perky’s Bits
Reviews

Tennille Melcher: Art + Sensuality = Empowerment

Tennessee-based Boudoir/Intimate photographer and blogger Tennille Melcher shares her passion for empowering others.

One plus one equals three?

Lady Chatterley shares her non-monogamous memoir.

Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?

When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?

Blurred Lines – what is cheating to you?

Within non-monogamy, what does cheating mean anyway? Tessa shares her story.

Why I’m not buying ‘Instagram star’ Essena O’Neill’s rage quit from social media

Essena O’Neill may be weeping her carefully crafted ‘this is REAL’ and ‘I’m doing it for my 12-year-old-self’ story all over her website, but she is also asking you and me to send her money now that she has to make a living like the rest of us.

Breaking up is hard to do

Mistress Heather shares her heartbreak over having to leave her hometown.

Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?

Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?

Tantra: get ready to try this at home

‘Why do to your man what he can do to himself?’ This week I ventured into the erotic world of Tantric massage.

Passionfruit: A sex shop with a difference

Think if you’ve seen one sex shop you’ve seen them all? Look again. Michelle Temminghoff talks about what makes Passionfruit The Sensuality Shop in Melbourne, Australia, more than just an adult store.

The Creepy Line: Do Not Cross

Rhonda explores why it’s socially acceptable for women to flirt and compliment, but not straight men.

Behind the smile

Are you okay? What lies behind the smile.

When a crab crawls out of its basket

Rhonda recalls her journey out of the crab basket and beyond the mould in which she was once cast.

My dirty little secret

Rhonda explores her journey coming out as bisexual.

A square peg in a round hole

Rhonda struggles to define what ‘relationship’ might mean while still exploring her sexuality.

Projecting Rejection

The first in a series of posts where Rhonda explores self-image, projection, and the ego-defences we use to preserve our sense of self.

‘Nobody buys flowers for the porn-pile girl’

Rhonda Perky goes under the covers to discover what it means to be a Modern Slut.

The Magic Number

Is there such a thing as the ‘right’ number of partners?

Whose threesome is it anyway?

In the heat of the moment, whose threesome is it, anyway? Rhonda explores the gap between fantasy and reality.

I am not okay

Who helps the helpers? Rhonda reflects on what it means to not be okay when you are the one who is supposed to keep it together.

Endometriosis: 20 years of invisible pain

Rhonda Perky reflects on living with endometriosis for the past 20 years.

Sacred sexuality: sex-negativity in spiritual clothing?

When I think of sacred sexuality (or Tantra), it sets off my bullshit meter. I picture caftans and communes, or people publicly displaying a kind of seventies big-bush sexuality that feels particularly unsexy to me. Is this sex-negativity in spirituality’s clothing? Or is something else going on?

My dirty little secret

Rhonda explores her journey coming out as bisexual.

Why cheaters lie to both partners

Has someone in a relationship tried to hit on you for sexy chats, sexting or more? In the process, have they spun you a story about how unhappy they are in their current relationship? Ever wondered why?

A square peg in a round hole

Rhonda struggles to define what ‘relationship’ might mean while still exploring her sexuality.

What’s with all those dick pics?

From the sender’s perspective: Rhonda asks guys to share what’s with all those dick pics?

Communication in conflict

Can your communication style during conflict really make a difference?

Sex addiction: another form of slut shaming?

Sex ‘addiction’ has become a label we slap on anyone we perceive as having a higher than ‘normal’ sex drive (whatever that is) or whose behaviour sits outside social norms (whatever those are). Is this just another form of slut-shaming?

What I learned from online dating

Online dating taught me less about love and lust and more about confronting my fears. I didn’t always have a good time, but I collected an array of new experiences, and ultimately skills that have helped me learn and grow socially and professionally.

Blurred Lines – what is cheating to you?

Within non-monogamy, what does cheating mean anyway? Tessa shares her story.

Dating dishonesty: why our social scripts are doing us damage

Unless we make room for open and honest communication early on, we can only end up with a host of dissatisfied people, constantly seeking one thing, but finding another.

How can I make a girl cum?

Rhonda answers the question: how can I make a girl cum?

My partner has been with someone else, now I want my turn

‘How do I tell him I want to be with someone else?’

Unrequited love, or ‘don’t bump uglies with your housemate’

Rhonda counsels a reader on navigating his relationship with a jealous housemate.

Is watching S&M internet pornography harmful?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: Do you think watching S&M pornography is harmful?

I’m in love with someone in an open relationship, what should I do?

Is it worth pursuing love when your lover is in an open relationship with someone else?

More than friends: is it worth the risk?

Rhonda helps a Clueless Canadian decide whether it is worth risking friendship to pursue a short-term non-monogamous relationship.

Turns out my guy has a girlfriend. He won’t tell her about me. Should I?

Rhonda Perky answers your question: The guy I’m seeing has a girlfriend and won’t tell her about me. Should I?

My husband and I are sexually incompatible but I don’t want an open relationship

Rhonda helps a married reader navigate sexual incompatibility with her husband.

I’m an extremely horny person. Should I cheat or ask for an open relationship?

Rhonda’s advice on what an extremely horny person in a monogamous relationship should do.

My boyfriend likes ‘shemales’ – what do I do?

Rhonda offers advice to a woman whose partner is into ‘shemale’ porn